It makes me lie down on the sofa;
It leadeth me away from the Scriptures.

It destroys my soul:
It leads me in the path of sex and violence, For the Sponsor's sake.

Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibilites,
There will be no interruptions: for the TV is with me.

It's cable and remote control, they comfort me.
It prepares commercials before me,
In the presence of my worldliness.

It anoints my head with humanism.
My coveting runneth over.

Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life;
And I shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.

New International Television Version
with quotes from MTV.